Love and sex in the African pantheon

African Love Beads and Love Letters
Word and proverbs are not the only vehicle for communicating love in Africa. In Togo, Ghana and Benin, when a woman wants to communicate her availability and interest to male suitors, she wears highly colorful and visible waist beads- In some parts of Nigeria, these are called jigida, and plays with them flirtatiously while engaging the objects of her love in conversation and other types of interaction. Indeed, waist beads are still worn in various parts of Africa by women with the aim of flirtation. Beads are believed to have the power to invoke desire. Some African women are known to lace their beads with fragrances which are irresistible to the opposite sec. In many parts of Africa, women also wear different shapes of beads during sexual intimacy to enhance and elevate sexual intensity for herself and her lover. African love beads can be likened to the wearing of provocative lingerie by women in the Global North. Moreover, in Africa, wives playfully used the rattling of their waist beads to communicate times of fertility to their lovers.
For centuries, the ZULU, Xhosa, Sotho, Venda, and Ndebele of South Africa have empowered colorful, delicately designed beads to communicate their love in beaded “love letters”. All traditional Zulu beadwork, except for items used for ritual purposes, were used in some way or other to communicate message of ritual purposes, were used in some way or other to communicate messages given by southern African maidens to their lovers as symbols of their love and affection.
The isiZulu word ukuqoma means “to date:. When Zulu maiden is ready to start dating she makes a beaded love letter, which is short love story in beaded form that expresses her feelings for and devotion to her loved one. This traditional white beaded letter or necklace, called ucu, is given to a boyfriend, whereupon he presents it to his father as confirmation he is dating a woman. Once the young man’s father receives the ucu, he sends members of his extended family to bring the young ma’s father as confirmation that he is dating a woman. Once the young man’s father receives the ucu, he sends members of his extended family for week. On arrival at her boyfriend’s home, the young woman hoists a white cloth, which remains hoisted for the duration of her stay. This is a signal to the community that she is dating someone in that household. The young man’s father, accompanied by members of his extended family, journeys to the young woman’s home to let them know that they need not to worry about the whereabouts of their daughter, that she is safe and well with the,, and that she is officially dating their son. This dating or courtship process often spreads over several months and is simply a first step to courtship, which may or may not lead to marriage. The use of beads as love letters also a form of amapasi, or an identity document, which identifies a given male as a maiden intended, this serving to ward off other men; by wearing the love letter, these men signal that they are unavailable to other women.

Waist Beads and their color meaning:
Each bead color in Zulu love letter conveys a different message.

White, for instance is a symbol of hope, purity, and true love.

Black Symbolizes grief and loneliness, as in unrequited love.

Yellow is used as a symbol of wealth, or the lack thereof; it captures the sentiment that all will be well with love, even if there is no wealth.

Green is a symbol of lovesickness and jealousy; it expresses the idea of “becoming as thin as a blade of grass from pinning.

” Blue is the color of faithfulness. It lets potential love interest know that the person is willing to fly through the blue skies to win them.

Turquoise is an impatient kind of love. It articulates the fading hope that an intended will propose.

Red symbolizes intense love and longing, such as in: my heart bleeds with love for you”.

Pink calls attention to the poverty of a potential love interest and warns that if he does not start saving, he may not have enough money to pay Lobola, or bride price.

Brown is the color of mother earth. It expresses the hope that, like the earth, the maiden expects to produce a new life. And, last but not least, if a maiden composes her love letter with striped beads, she is expressing doubts in the fidelity of her love interest. She is in essence saying that he is like the ntothoviyane or striped grasshopper, which springs from bush to bush.

Source: A tradition of love
Love and sex in the African pantheon